Ptolemy’s 8th Birthday Party!

boy

TO: Undisclosed Recipients

FROM: [email protected] 

SUBJECT: Ptolemy’s 8th Birthday Party!

Hi, Everyone!

Ptolemy’s very excited to turn 8, and we’re hoping your kids can join him for his party! Here are the details: 

Where? BOUNCE-NAUSEUM

When? SATURDAY, 10 AM-12 PM 

We know it’s a busy time of year, and Bounce-Nauseum is a little out of the way, but if you haven’t been there, it’s FANTASTIC (Translation: The kids love it and will be nice and tuckered out for the rest of the day). We’re hoping your kiddos can make it. Please let me know ASAP. 

Love, 

Marcy and Jim

================================================================

TO: Undisclosed Recipients

FROM: [email protected]

SUBJECT: Re: Ptolemy’s 8th Birthday Party!

Hi, Again!

Okay, as we’d feared, a lot of you are either away that weekend, or your kids are committed to sports teams on Saturday mornings. (It’s easy for us to forget this, because Ptolemy’s regional travel chess club meets on Sundays!) 

As we cook up Plan B, I thought I’d take an informal poll about which timeslot is better: NEXT FRIDAY 4-6:30 or SUNDAY 4-6:30? 

Love, 

Marcy and Jim

================================================================

TO: Undisclosed Recipients

FROM: [email protected]

SUBJECT: Ptolemy’s New and Improved Birthday Party!

Thank you to everyone who responded, and apologies in advance if Sunday was better for you, but for various reasons I won’t bore you with, we’ve decided to go with NEXT Friday, from 4-6:30. 

Here’s the plan: We’re showing a G-rated film (still TBD but we’re thinking some innocuous throwback comedy from the ‘70s) then having pizza and cake. 

Please RSVP ASAP!

Marcy and Jim

================================================================

TO: Undisclosed Recipients

FROM: [email protected]

SUBJECT:  Re: Ptolemy’s New and Improved Birthday Party!

Me, again—A lot of you have written asking if this is a drop-off party, and the answer is an emphatic YES.  Apologies, I should have made that clear in my previous emails

I will add, however, that our new apartment building does have a shared roof deck, so for anyone who would like to drop-off and hang out on our roof while the kids watch the movie, please feel free! BYO coffee/wine/whatever. 

================================================================

TO: Undisclosed Recipients

FROM: [email protected]

SUBJECT:  Re: Re: Ptolemy’s New and Improved Birthday Party!

It’s finally here! 

I promise we’re at the tail-end of these emails.

Ptolemy is so excited for the party, and I realize we’re about to all see each other at the curriculum share (which I hadn’t realized was today until Simon’s mom texted me, was that on the calendar?). So fun!

One important note about the party: I probably should have mentioned that I did observe the school’s policy of inviting all the boys in the class, however, only some of the girls in the class are invited.  So I urge you to be discreet.

See you all very soon, then later this afternoon!

Xo M

P.S. side-note, Jim and I have come to the difficult decision to end our marriage.

P.P.S. Don’t worry, we’re on good terms and you probably wouldn’t even sense any tension, but in case you were wondering why this note is just from me… Also, the kids don’t know yet, so if you have to discuss it, please make sure your kids are not in earshot! Thx!

================================================================

TO: Undisclosed Recipients

FROM: [email protected]

SUBJECT:  Re: Re: Re: Ptolemy’s New and Improved Birthday Party!

Hi, Sandra—It was so wonderful catching up with you at the curriculum share! 

I honestly don’t know how Maisy’s invitation to Ptolemy’s party fell through the cracks—it might have something to do with moving and starting a new job and my marriage falling apart—but suffice to say, we hope she can make it. (see details below.)

Xo Marcy

================================================================

TO: Undisclosed Recipients

FROM: [email protected]

SUBJECT:  Re: Re: Re: Re: Ptolemy’s New and Improved Birthday Party!

Just want to clarify—it IS a drop-off party, but Sasha has valiantly offered to provide adult beverages starting at 4. Come, don’t come, I have to get back to decorating!

================================================================

TO: Undisclosed Recipients

FROM: [email protected]

SUBJECT:  Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Ptolemy’s New and Improved Birthday Party!

Whew! What a party. I know things got a little wild there, but I do hope your kids had fun. I’m almost out of your hair, I promise, but I do have a few questions:

1. Ptolemy loved all of his gifts, but predictably two wound up getting separated from their cards: A fab Star Wars DeathStar Lego set, and a super cool science kit with toy microscope. Please claim credit, so Ptolemy can practice his thank you note writing.

Okay, I guess that’s technically one question. 

Finally, I’d like to apologize for the movie. In my memory, The Bad News Bears was a lighthearted portrayal of a scrappy little league team, and the blatant racism, sexism, and glorification of alcoholism throughout were truly shocking. Even though it was technically Jim’s choice (typical Jim, do not get me started!), I should have watched it again to see if it held up to today’s socio-political standards. I hope it at least sparked an interesting dialog on the way home.

Thank you again for bringing your kids, and I hope a good time was had by all!

Cheers,

Marcy

================================================================

TO: Undisclosed Recipients

FROM: [email protected]

SUBJECT:  Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Ptolemy’s New and Improved Birthday Party!

Hi, everyone.

A few things have come to light since yesterday’s email, and I wanted to address them head-on. 

First of all, when the boys all took off their shirts and started growling at each other, I was surely taken aback, but I thought it was just a testosterone attack. I had no idea that it had been Ptolemy’s idea and that he called this game, “Jungle Savages.” I can only imagine that The Bad News Bears’ white male privilege messaging is to blame, and hope it was just a freak moment; it’s just not the Ptolemy I know and love.

Also, I’m glad some of you were able to hang out and have drinks upstairs, but I was horrified when I heard about my soon-to-be ex-husband’s behavior. It’s just not OK. I’d thought we would be able to be adults and remain friends through this transition, but he crossed a line. If he made you (or your spouse or child) feel unsafe or uncomfortable, I deeply apologize. It won’t surprise you that Jim’s relationship with alcohol played a role in the breakdown of our marriage, though of course there were other factors as well. 

Have a wonderful holiday weekend! 

Yours, 

Marcy

P.S. To all of you who’ve been asking how I’m doing, first of all, bless your hearts, and secondly, the answer is SO MUCH BETTER! In fact, I’m feeling ready to get back out there, so if you know of any eligible, employed, non-narcissistic men who DON’T have a history of alcoholism (or any kind of ism, come to think of it) send ‘em my way! ❑

Photo by Eddie Kopp

SHARE

Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published.