TestH2An Abbreviated List of Other Things Tom Cruise Will Yell at You For

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“​Tom Cruise​ is not messing around when it comes to COVID-19 guidelines. Cruise ​reportedly yelled at the crew on the set of Mission: Impossible 7 in Britain, after he saw two crew members standing too close together in front of a computer screen.”​ — Vultur​e,​ December 15, 2020 Mispronouncing the name “Kamala”  Not knowing the difference between bi-, pan-, […]

TestH2Classic Holiday Movies, Updated for 2020

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Home Alone Kevin McCallister’s parents ignore CDC guidelines to fly to Paris, but their son heroically refuses to endanger the lives of others and instead stays home to self-isolate. Word gets out about his selfless actions, and Joe Pesci and that other guy show up at Kevin’s house for an armed protest, but Kevin puts them […]

TestH2I’m the Trump Administration Coronavirus Czar

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I Pledge that Our COVID Vaccine Will Be Safe, Effective, and Republican. In these times of heightened tension, there have been false accusations swirling that the process of developing and releasing a COVID-19 vaccine will be tainted by politics. And so, in an attempt to restore the American people’s faith in the nonpartisan nature of […]