Kenny G. is having a rough time these days, and it’s up to us to help get him through it!
Such is the premise of the Kenny G-themed board game, “Keepin’ It Saxy,” which can be found at your local Target for $9.99—or, if you wait a bunch of years, your neighbors’ yard sale.
How to Play
The object of “Keepin’ It Saxy” is to help Kenny G. mobilize the powerful force of jazz to get through the most inconvenient parts of his day.
The game consists of six rounds: Two morning rounds, two afternoon rounds, and two evening rounds. In each round, players draw a brand new event card. These event cards feature various irritants that Kenny G. may face—including but not limited to:
- No matching socks
- Dog chewed on shoes
- Didn’t win raffle prize
- Full gin bottle broke
Players then have to collaborate using their jazz cards to help him biddle, scoodily, and wa wuh wah out of whatever tragic situation arises. Like a parking ticket on Sunset Boulevard.
In the event that you and your fellow players can’t jazz your way through the card’s events before the next round, you risk losing some Groove Tokens. And it doesn’t take a professional saxophonist with a net worth of $100 million to know that losing Groove Tokens is a bad thing!
The instructions say that game play takes about 30 minutes, but I think they’re referring to how long it will take to learn. The game itself takes about half that time, including breaks for water and Googling whether or not Kenny G. is Jewish.
Some Bonuses That You Won’t Find in Any Other Board Game
In addition to the 36 event cards with various pictures of Kenny G. looking “saxy,” there are also a list of “Kenny G. Sax Facts.” These include mildly interesting tidbits about saxophones, like:
- These instruments come in 14 different sizes, or
- They were invented in 1846, or
- All saxophones are made of brass but are considered woodwinds because of their reed mouthpieces
These Sax Facts also include less interesting tidbits about Kenny G., like:
- Kenny G. plays golf, or
- Kenny G. likes jokes, or
- One time, Kenny G.’s favorite hair product was being discontinued so he stocked up on it
Definitely Get This Game If You…
- Like team-oriented strategy games
- Want to help Kenny G. get through a bad day
- Are in a hurry but are looking for a board game to play in a very short span of time
- Want to put a lot more thought into Kenny G. than you ever did before
- Are old enough to know the expression: “white elephant gift exchange”
Definitely Don’t Get This Game If You…
- Prefer board games that last longer than 15 minutes
- Are under the age of 12
- Have less or more than 2-5 players
- Don’t care about a man with extraordinary talents and luscious curls who would have benefited from a better hair product
When I first started unwrapping this game, I assumed it was dreamed up by Kenny G. himself. But the more I played, the more obvious it was that the game’s designers were just hardcore Kenny G. superfans who have no idea what a saxophonist does all the day. Like, did they honestly think “Wi-Fi down at work” or “office drama” is really an issue for Kenny G? Do they think Kenny has an office job?
Regardless of its flaws—and the likelihood that Kenny G. probably doesn’t know that “Keepin’ It Saxy” exists—I still give it a rating of five out of five Groove Tokens.*
Stay saxy, everyone!
*This scoring system only applies to Kenny G-themed games. ❏
Rachel Marsh also wrote I’m Finally Ready for Fatherhood on WryTimes.