Guided Meditation for Sloths

First, find a comfortable spot—your usual Cecropia tree is fine. Make sure your claws are gripping your branch securely.  As usual, stay perfectly still.

Next, become aware of your breathing. Start by taking a deep breath in through your nose, allowing your round belly to expand. Then slowly exhale through your mouth, releasing any tension in your body.

Tune out the sounds of the rainforest, and don’t think about the moths inhabiting your fur. Just focus on your breathing, on inhaling and exhaling. Continue, as you usually do for about 60 percent of the day, to remain completely motionless.

If any thoughts bubble up in your mind, just imagine those thoughts floating away into the… oh, hang on… are you still awake?

Hey—are you awake?

Hmm. Okay, I guess we’ll try again tomorrow. ❏

Karen Lurie lives in Brooklyn and writes comedy, lyrics, scripts, and games for TV, radio, podcasts, websites, apps, and… you? She also published A Memo from Trey, your CEO/Founder Regarding Zoom Meetings in 2021 in WryTimes.


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