Ode to Effing Flannel

You know what I can never have enough of? Flannel fucking shirts. They are fantastic, and I want all of them, like little kids want Pokémon. Gotta have ‘em all, and in every fucked up plaid combination. Can you mix pink, green and maroon? Sure, why not? It’s fucking flannel, anything goes. Flannel has no fucking boundaries. 

Flannel is fucking fantastic, and let me tell you why. First of all, it’s versatile as fuck. You can rock it during any season. 

Generally one might equate flannel with fall, because flannel is sold in the fall. Therefore one would think, “Oh, it’s fucking fall, time to buy some fucking flannels.” One couldn’t be more wrong. 

Buy that shit and rock it with some shorts on a summer night. It’s bonfire attire, bitches! Everyone needs bonfire attire, and fucking flannels kick ass in that department! 

Some may call you a lumberjack, but fuck them. Brawny knows what’s up, and so does nineteen-nineties hip hop, and all of Nashville. 

My point is, flannel is fucking fantastic. Wear it tucked in, pulled out, or layer it with a Marty Mcfly vest. However or whenever you choose to wear it, you will look fly as fuck. Because…it’s a fucking flannel, and it’s fantastic. ❏

Dana Storino is a wife, mother of three humans, and one very energetic Dalmatian. She resides in Chicago, Illinois. and works as a special education classroom assistant for Chicago Public Schools.


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