PRIORITY: URGENT
TO: The Trump Presidency Showrunners
FROM: Casey, Rob, and Amy
Hey, Guys—You know we always try to stay out of your creative choices for the show, and we’ve been eagerly awaiting your “October Surprise” episode, but this latest plot-twist took us all off-guard. Right now, we’re getting hammered by the President’s agent with questions: Is he being written off the show? Will he magically recover just to prove how invincible he really is, or are you going for a tear-jerking season finale for November sweeps?
If you are killing him off, fine, but just remember he’s under contract for the next four seasons and that’s going to cost us a pretty penny. Might be good to consider using him in flashbacks? Maybe as a visiting ghost? Again, you’re the creative geniuses —don’t want to overstep—but something to think about.
Also, the Vice President’s agent is bombarding Jen in casting, demanding to know if he’s going to become President, and if so: They want to make him a series regular with a huge bump in his episodic rate, plus a guarantee of four more seasons. Our understanding is that he doesn’t have the acting chops for the role (and is apparently hated in hair/make-up, although Chad in wardrobe loves him), but if you feel strongly that this serves your vision for the show, we would of course support you.
Bottom line is that right now, our casting and publicity teams are freaking out because they, like us, had no warning. You know we love you guys, and you’ve taken this show to a whole new level, but as your bosses, we need you to adhere to the process. This is why we need to see Story Areas, Outlines, and Scripts months in advance, as per the schedule Jessica sends out every Tuesday morning. Later today, she’ll be circling back to set up a meeting to go over these rules and regulations so we’re all on the same page.
Last thing, and sorry to beat a dead horse, but this feels like the perfect moment to solve the show’s biggest weakness: Whoever you cast as the next President, for the love of God, please prioritize diversity. We’ve gotta keep our eyes on the prize (so to speak): The Emmys. (We’d settle for a Golden Globe at this point. What more do they want?)
Keep up the great work and get some sleep, wouldya? ❏
