Today I’m Going to Do My Second Best

In case you’re wondering, today, I’m going to do my second best.

I will wake up alarmingly late and scroll on social media, without a thought as to what routine should ensue once I get out of bed. There will be a twinge of regret that I didn’t wake up earlier but then I’ll remember, this was the plan all along.

I’ll brush my teeth half heartedly, less than the time I should and not in the direction that is encouraged. I won’t get dressed, but will put on my cozy socks, and polka dotted sweatshirt with an air of satisfaction, for now I’ll get through the day unencumbered and unrestricted.

I’ll roll out my yoga mat and start searching on my phone to find the yoga video titled ‘gentle stretch.’ The class will end in a child’s pose and I’ll stay in that position long after the instructor says ‘namaste.’ Getting up after that will be a slow process, after which I’ll wander to the window to stare at my neighbors who are living their best lives. One is prancing around watering his plants and the other is diligently cooking. How civilized.

I’ll make a shopping list but won’t do the shopping. I’ll wonder if I should cook and think about going outside to pick up food or ordering in. Neither one suits me. After all, today is my second best day, not my worst. I’ll finally decide on pasta with pesto. It fills me with pleasure to think such a tasty meal will take little effort.

A friend calls and I won’t answer. Instead, I’ll sit in my favorite chair and stare into the distance, thinking about the things that come to mind; like why Kim Kardashian is dating a comedian, or why I don’t like strawberries, and if I will ever switch to a mac. Then I’ll read my book for a bit, but won’t finish the chapter.

What a lackluster day it’s been. It was everything I expected and not a tad bit more. How satisfying. 

So try it. 

I guarantee you’ll feel your absolute second best!

If that’s what you’re going for, of course. ❏

Priscilla Megalaa lives in Berlin, and enjoys seeking the absurd in a very serious world.

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