- Oh man, that contact I lost behind my right eyeball the other night is defo trying to ooze its way out.
- Fish sauce, paper towels, smoked paprika … wait. Did I just get that on the last order?
- I wonder how many contacts I’ve lost behind my eyeballs through the years … What happens to them? How many is “too many”?
- Wow. That dude at the bar has incredible shoulders. Looks tall, too. Remember to keep periodically looking his way.
- Do I need to pick up tampons, or will the remaining three be enough to see me through? Tampons, smoked paprika, fish sauce … there’s something else. There’s definitely something else, and I’m pretty sure it’s the most important thing. It makes no sense to stop by the store on the way home, if I’m not getting the most important thing.
- There goes the waiter! He’s gonna swoosh right by without stopping I’m soooo fucking hungry noooo stop pleeeaaaasssse—
- It’s weird how some Winnie the Pooh characters have really weird names, but then others have names that are just what they are. Like Rabbit, that is because he is a rabbit, duh. Ditto for Piglet, Owl. But then you’ve got Winnie the Pooh; that’s a weird name! And Eeyore, that is also weird. Roo is kinda weird. Same with Kanga … wait a minute … MOTHER OF GOD.
- SHOULDERS DUDE IS STANDING! SHOULDERS DUDE IS STANDING! ❏
Sara Corris is a Madame Defarge type, minus the knitting skills, biding her time in Brooklyn.
My dating days are long gone, but now I at least know what she was thinking.
P.S. I have broad shoulders.