A List of Things in My Stepfather’s Basement that Scare Me

Broken lawnmower 

Garden sheers 

Box labeled: TOOLS, DO NOT OPEN 

Playboy calendar from 1982 

Shelf holding lots of paint cans (unstable) 

Mug filled with what I think is gasoline 

Hole in the floor (what’s down there?)

Pile of Sandpaper (too rough) 

State poker championship trophy 

Cobwebs 

“Meat”

Notepad full of ideas (a manifesto?)

Used moustache collection 

Security camera (always on) 

Box full of padlocks

Box full of keys (unorganized) 

Old juice 

Free weights (heavy) 

Drum set (he doesn’t play) 

Chainsaw (what if it starts by accident) 

Christmas decorations (haunted by ghosts of Christmas past) 

Loose oil 

Windows 95 computer with classic colourful pipes screen saver 

Stack of letters from his ex-wife who is in prison 

My real dad’s favourite trumpet ❏

Séamus Easton is a content writer and aspiring amateur geologist living in Vancouver, Canada.