My boyfriend and I went hiking last weekend. I was looking forward to the unmatched photo opportunities the activity would provide. My mind swirled with images of gorgeous foliage, majestic waterfalls, and adorable woodland creatures. Unfortunately, what I thought was going to be an amazing day turned out to be one of the most disappointing days of my life. I wasn’t able to take any outdoorsy pictures proving I was actually there.
We were one week before the hike and I was doing everything right. I bought new leggings, googled if black bears eat humans, and ordered a trendy water bottle online (and paid $10 for rush shipping just in case). I thought I was fully equipped, but no amount of organic trail mix could have prepared me for what was to come.
On the way to the trailhead, I listened to a special playlist I curated just for the occasion. (Whatever happened to Mumford & Sons? We miss you guys.) When we arrived, I looked down to discover my dear iPhone was at 5% battery! My heart sank at the sight of the slim red line representing all I had left in the world. I tried to soldier on, but my phone was completely dead by the time we got to our first picturesque location! I couldn’t take pictures of anything—my designer hiking boots walking on leaves, my gorgeous boyfriend wearing a flannel shirt, or even a selfie of me and a random tree. Did we even really hike?!
At one point, my boyfriend of three months got down on one knee and I yelled, “NO JOSH! NOT HERE! NOT NOW!”
My desperate screams echoed through the forest. I was terrified he was going to propose and I would have no way to document the momentous occasion.
“What’s your problem?” he asked as he finished tying his shoe.
It was a very close call.
I’m not the type of person who does things just for the photos, but how am I supposed to prove to my peers that I’m down to earth if not through pictures atop a mountain? I just wanted everyone I have ever met to know I was there, and to acknowledge the fact that I am super fucking cool.
Dear Reader, I’m hoping this vulnerable story serves as a helpful reminder: Should you venture into the wilderness, make sure you have a fully charged phone. No one will know how awesome you are if you don’t shove your lust for all things nature down their throats. Oh, and I guess, for like, safety and stuff, too? ❏
Sarah Lehman is a writer from Northeast Pennsylvania, where you can find her rewarding her cat’s bad behavior and asking her partner for a hug for the third time today.